Those of us who have been married for awhile, and even those of us who haven't been married quite so long, can easily and unexpectedly, one day wake up on 'Auto Pilot' in our marriage. We think that since we've been married for "X" number of years, or been through some rough stuff in our time together, that we have a great marriage and will continue to have it just because we think that is how it should be. Because that is how marriage always turns out - I mean, we said our vows, so that should stick, right?
But then one day, something causes you to take a long look at your marriage and maybe peel back some layers, as you honestly ask yourself this question: what have I actively been doing to keep my marriage on track? Now, notice I said "I". Don't get sidetracked and start thinking about the things he does or doesn't do. We are going to look at our role as a wife and institute some simple things to help us do our part in marriage (which will, in turn, help him do his part in marriage).
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Ephesians 5:33 KJV)
Now, whether you want to admit it or not, Respect and Love play a HUGE part in every marriage. "Respect for him and Love for her". A big part of Respect for me in my marriage plays out in the Reminders . . . no, not the reminders of what he is doing wrong . . . stay with me . . . the reminders of the things he needs to hear and receive from me, as his wife:
Need a place to start? Here are some reminders that come to mind when I think of my husband:
-He is an extraordinary man! My husband has many talents, some of which include speaking, presenting, singing, dancing, writing, drawing, etc. Plus, he is a fantastic father to our children! What makes your husband extraordinary? In what area is he talented?
-My husband is sexy! (And, ladies, we can't just tell them, we have to SHOW them - more on this subject in a future post already in the works). Just go with me, he needs sex and he needs to show you love this in way, and you can really begin to appreciate it with lots of practice.
-I am very appreciative of how hard he works to provide for our family. He has an amazing work ethic and is constantly under a great amount of stress to perform for managment to keep our family fed and clothed. Sometimes, we may have to sacrifice a bit of time with our husbands, especially if they travel like mine does. And that can be rough but it makes the welcome home reunion: oh, so sweet!
-He is enjoyable to be around. Let your husband know that you just love being with him, whether you're touring the Grand Canyon, or sitting at home preparing your tax return. Being together with our husbands should be simply, enjoyable.
-I tell him how capable he is. Our men won't admit how much time they spend doubting themselves, but if they know we are in their corner, that we are the ones who believe they can accomplish their goals, their confidence will soar to heights unknown! But, we have to let them know that we believe in them.
-I let my hubby know how well he takes care of me. Don't just think of this from a monetary standpoint, but think of it in other ways; whether it's watching the kids so you can run an errand by yourself or take a bubble bath. Maybe he rubs your shoulders to help you relax or takes care of cooking dinner every so often. Or, like mine did today, drove to my office to bring me my wallet and took my car to fill it up with gas, so I wouldn't have to do it myself in the sub-freeizing temperatures.
Literally, I could go on and on, and the more I pray about it, the more God shows me. If you struggle with this, I encourage you to pray long and hard for some reminders that God can show you for your husband. Also, ask your husband, as I ask mine, from time to time: what do you need from me? Is there anything I can do better for you? Are there specific things you need to hear from me?
Each day this week, I encourage you keep your marriage out of 'Auto Pilot' by simply reminding him of what he means to you.
Remind him, not only how wonderful he is, but what he means to you in the following ways:
Takes Care of Me
May God Bless you and your spouse as you grow together in Him.