Friday, December 6, 2013

Asking Him to be Someone He's Not . . . .

Last night I re-posted my favorite movie quote of all time:  

"I can't ask him to be less than he is."

~ Maria von Trapp (Sound of Music)

I am sure most of you are familiar with the story line, and while we live in a different time and place, the premise of why it was said SHOULD still ring true in marriages today.

Years ago, when I first posted this movie quote (after only watching this movie a million times over the course of my life), I still did not fully appreciate the example of Maria von Trapp.  But I did admire the respect she showed for her husband in that pivotal moment in history.  Captain von Trapp was not willing to compromise his beliefs.  Maria was asked to convince her husband to "at least pretend to work with" the Nazi regime, something she knew her husband was against. And while he wasn't the only one who felt this way, he was one of the few who wouldn't bow down to it.  It may have made him unpopular in society's eyes, but in his wife's eyes, he was most popular (and truly that is what our husband's yearn for).  And in turn, her support encouraged him to LEAD his family to safety. They were a team.

You see, SOMETIMES we try and make our husbands into something, or rather someone, they are not.  SOMETIMES our husbands have to stand up against what may be popular, but not necessarily right.  SOMETIMES it's not pretty. SOMETIMES they don't act in a way that we would in the same situation, but ALWAYS we must still show them our support, which,  they in turn, see as respect.  In order to let our husbands develop into the men that God intends, we have to let them be who they are and nothing less.

I have learned many lessons in 21+ years of marriage, too many to mention here, but over time, God willing,  I can share more.  One thing I have realized: my husband  will be held accountable for his actions, what I will be held accountable for is whether or not I supported my husband, whether I truly let him lead Team Gage.  I  have to remind myself to let God lead my husband, so that he in turn can lead me.

A final thought: 

What if Maria, had not supported her husband, what if she had not given him the respect a husband so desperately needs and longs for? Would he have had the confidence to lead his family to safety and a better life?  I shudder to think back on all the blessings I may have held my family back from, because I refused to let my husband be who he is, to respect him and let him lead.

To those who understand this, thank you for your ensample (living example) . To those, who, like me, it took awhile, I ask you to give it a go, step out into what may be the unknown  with your husband and let him be all that he is . . . it's a happier life and a relief to not feel like you have to be the one in control. 

Today, what a wonderful time to start. May your marriage be blessed sooner than later as you, daily, let him lead.

Much Love.

1 comment:

  1. Excellent... and so, so true! Have you ever read the book, "The Von Trapp Family Singers"? It's old, but one of my absolute all-time favorites (very different - and BETTER - than the Rogers and Hammerstein movie).

    Do you know their great grandchildren are still singing?...and all because Maria refused to ask him to be less than what he knew God wanted him to be. What a legacy!